What You Really Need
by peacefulsands
Summary: Eliot isn't sure how to handle the end so he heads back to the beginning to try and figure it out. end of Season 1 vague implication future Nathan/Eliot


**What You Really Need

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For geteven_getfic community challenge Worth A Thousand Words. I chose the first picture of Eliot Spencer under the sparkly shoes one.

Characters : Eliot and Nathan (vaguely implied future possibility of slash)

Rating : PG-13  
Word count: 2325

Spoilers for The Nigerian Job and the First David Job

Disclaimer : None of the characters are mine nor anything Leverage-related, although if no one wants Eliot I'd promise to look after him real nice.

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Eliot parked the car up well away from his destination. It blended in with its surroundings, reliable not flashy. The money had been good while it lasted, but Eliot had known in his gut not to count on it, not to rely on anything being more than just a phase, a passing trend. He locked the car behind him before beginning to walk. Circuitous route, yeah so even he could use big words; he wasn't as stupid as everyone seemed to think. He wasn't just some stupid bit of muscle, hired brawn.

Not as stupid as everyone thought, he berated himself again, whilst that was conceivably true, he was most definitely more stupid than he should have been. He may not have let himself rely on the money, the security of an office, the legitimacy of it all, but he'd unnerved himself majorly by finding himself relying on the people.

He walked; it took him a good half an hour at a consistent walking pace. He hadn't got time for dawdling along. An aborted half snort of a laugh escaped him as he realized he now had time in spades on his hands.

It was there before him now, where it had all started and . . . and where he was going to lay the ghosts to rest. He wasn't sure how yet, but he'd find a way. For now it was enough to come and look, enough to come and see if it gave him any answers.

He approached cautiously, no point in being stupid whatever the outcome was going to be. He made a circuit of the building; he'd guess there'd been no change since he was last here. Not that he'd been in that good a state then, conscious, which was one up on Nate at the time, but only just. Nate . . . Nathan, Eliot said to himself, trying to distance himself further.

He saw a point that would do what he needed, high enough for good vision, escape out or in to hide if he needed it, but not in anyone's immediate sightline, secluded. Space, solitude. His eyes scanned round until he found an access route to it.

A series of maneuvers saw him rapidly ascending the side of the building until he reached his vantage point. He settled himself in, made himself comfortable, knocking the remains of grit and stone from the ledge before quieting. Mentally he worked on turning off all the extraneous thoughts, trying to regain his focus. Sloppy that's what he'd become and it's what he had to fix now.

He closed his eyes, opening his mind to all that his ears could perceive and breathed deeply. He was no fool, one sense down and he focussed more on the others. He wouldn't be left vulnerable but sight could be too distracting at times for real focus and that was what he needed to regain now.

Dubenich . . . He'd brought them together, ultimately brought them here to this now destroyed building and all that had happened after. He was the one who had made Eliot weak. The young man shivered at the memories that pursued him. He'd never looked for this, believed for so long that he didn't need or want it but now . . .

Stupidity! It had been stupid to be drawn in, stupid to be guided, more like led by the fucking nose by Nathan Ford. He squeezed his eyes shut further as if it could destroy the images inside his head.

He heard a stone skitter across the yard below him and his eyes snapped open, instantly wary. He didn't move, didn't change anything but his focus back to the here and now. Who else would be here? An abandoned burned out warehouse on the edge of nowhere. There shouldn't be anyone else here.

He waited silently until a figure appeared around the corner of the building below. Ford! Nathan Fucking Ford! What was he doing here? Eliot remained silent, not drawing attention to himself but no longer concerned. He had no idea what Nate was doing here but he was no real threat, assuming there was no one with him and Eliot already knew there wasn't, there was no feel of 'people' below, just the lone figure that was turning now and looking up.

Nathan's eyes settled on Eliot for long enough that the younger man knew he'd been seen, then he began looking for a way to climb up. Eliot smirked to himself in amusement, but offered no suggestions, didn't even acknowledge Nathan's presence with a gesture or sound.

Instead Eliot settled back against the wall and closed his eyes again; he figured that disinterest was probably the best line to follow. His ears were tuned again, following Nathan's progress carefully. He'd heard the two aborted attempts to climb the outside of the building and he'd nearly reacted to the third when he'd heard Nathan lose his grip and fall to the ground. Fortunately, Nathan was back on his feet quick enough, fighting embarrassment rather than injury, before Eliot had had a chance to give away his own concern.

He heard Nathan move inside the building and sighed. Leaning through the gap to the inside, he looked for Nathan. He frowned as he saw the older man find the staircase and head towards it ready to start climbing. Eliot knew he couldn't let him take the risk. "Nathan!" he called, loud enough to carry to Nathan in the quiet but not echo or be heard outside. "Don't! It's not safe. Wait there, I'll come down."

Nathan beamed up and Eliot knew he'd been conned. "I'll wait here then," he replied, promptly dropping to sit on the bottom step casually. Eliot shook his head resignedly before turning and allowing his body to drop off the window sill as he quickly descended the outside wall.

He sauntered into the building, aiming for nonchalance, but judging by Nathan's rapid approach and the frown marring his features, he was off somehow. "You had me worried." It wasn't the opening gambit that Eliot had expected to hear.

"Worried?"

"Yeah," Nathan had moved right up into his space, hands catching Eliot's arms keeping him still, close, here . . . attached. "Worried." Nathan smiled but there was something else with the smile that Eliot didn't know how to place.

He couldn't handle it, didn't understand it, so as instinct kicked in, he fell back on well understood reflexes. Position shifting, body twisting, a single breath and Eliot was free and half way across the room. "What? What is it that you want, Nathan?" He could hear the defensiveness in his own voice, hoped that Nathan didn't recognize it.

"I'm sorry it came to this, El. I never wanted it to be like this for any of you, least of all you."

Eliot sneered, "You never wanted it to be like this! Like what Nathan? You're trying to imply there was something there, something that wasn't! There's nothing, just a few jobs . . . that's all."

"If I let you go now, we'll never get you back, will we?" Nathan took a step closer, hand out, a gesture.

A gesture that Eliot wasn't sure he understood or even wanted to understand. "Get real!" He hardened up his features, desperate to drive the man before him away because he didn't understand the emotions roiling inside him, didn't know where they were coming from or why. He was Eliot Spencer, alone for his trade, alone by choice because self-reliance was the only way to survive. Eliot wrapped his arms round his stomach without thinking.

"Eliot," it was only one word but there was something in the way Nathan said it that made Eliot ache a little more inside. It made it harder to deny that maybe Eliot could never be as self-reliant and solitary as he truly wanted.

"No," his voice was broken. Nathan was closer again, arms catching the younger man and pulling him closer. Eliot shifted breaking free again, this time anger was clear in his bearing. "I don't know what you think you're doing," scorn dripped from his words, but unexpectedly Nathan Ford did not back off, instead Eliot faltered, thrown by the other man's lack of fear.

"Stop it, please," Nathan said softly. "Come sit on the step with me and talk, nothing more El, nothing more." Nathan's hands hovered, one skimming the air above Eliot's arm, the other gesturing to the step. His eyes watched Eliot's face intently, seeking the answers concealed within his eyes.

Eliot nodded, unsure why he was agreeing to this but heading for the steps as Nathan had said. "What's this all about?" he asked when they were seated, side by side, Eliot still aware of Nathan's intent watching, even as he himself refused to make any eye contact at all.

"What's your worst fear, El?" Nathan asked, voice still gentle, almost intimate. Unsurprised by Eliot's seemingly disinterested shrug, Nathan continued, "It's being trapped and knowing you don't matter enough to anyone for them to come and get you. Knowing that when it all goes wrong, there is no one who's got your back, no one who cares about Eliot Spencer, but Eliot Spencer."

"You don't know what you're talking about," Eliot's words lacked the confidence and vehemence that Nathan would have expected if they were true, instead he wanted to reach out and show the younger man that ihe/i cared.

"I don't want to just watch you walk away, Eliot. I don't want to lose you in the crowd, not know that you're okay."

"I can look after myself, been doing it long enough," Eliot grunted reluctantly. "So I don't know what you're here for, what you want, but . . . maybe you should be chasing Parker an' all, she needs someone to look after her. The girl's big-time crazy and you know ishe/i needs someone to look out for her."

"Someone like who, Eliot?" Nathan pressed.

"Friends. She needs people who care to look out for her." Nathan was impressed, he hadn't realized how far through Eliot's barriers the whole 'team' thing had pushed. It worried him too. This kind of thing would leave Eliot more vulnerable. Nathan knew that in the past Eliot had been in some downright horrific situations, retrieval was not a pretty business. He knew that no one else really appreciated that about him, but Nathan knew him from before, knew him from what he'd seen and from the papers Dubenich had given him. The thought crossed his mind to wonder if Eliot realized how much Dubenich had been able to find out about him, along with who had been the one to sell Eliot down the river.

"Eliot," he said quietly, aware as the younger man's head snapped round expression frustrated. "We all need friends."

"Yeah, right, top of my list of things I wanted was friends like Sophie Deveraux." Eliot stood angrily, pacing away from Nathan and that was when Nathan could see just how injured Eliot was, the wince as he moved, the favoring of one side, the way his hand dropped to protect his ribs.

Nathan was on his feet and at Eliot's side in an instant. "El, you're still hurting. You're still injured. Why did you come all the way out here?"

"I wanted some answers!" Eliot snapped. "I wanted some fucking answers." He took a step back, arms hugging at his stomach defensively again.

"Did you find them?" Nathan asked softly.

Eliot just shook his head, "What do I do Nathan? What do I do now?"

"You come with me and you let me look after you until you've healed and while that's happening you think about what you want, what you need."

"But . . ." Eliot's expression was that of a deer in headlights.

"No, El. That's all for now. The rest comes later, when you're ready I can help, but right now you need to not be on your own and I'm here offering."

"Sophie. . ."

"What about Sophie?" Nathan pressed.

"You and Sophie." Nathan was amazed by how young Eliot looked when he showed his underlying vulnerability, wondered if the man before him realized how much he let slip when he wasn't being the hard man.

"There is no me and Sophie, there never has been in the way you mean. Work and friendship."

"She sold us out, Nathan. All of us. . . You! Parker, Hardison! All of it sold out! She hurt you all with her . . . her. . ."

A hand was all it took to stop the flow. A hand placed gently on Eliot's shoulder stopped the words and when Nathan slipped his hand to the back of Eliot's neck and pulled the shorter man closer, thumb rubbing soothing strokes below the tied back hair, Eliot sighed and let himself be drawn in.

"Sophie didn't mean to sell anyone out, she didn't mean for it to go down like that. She was wrong, really wrong in what she did and believe me I'm pissed at her, but she didn't mean for anyone to get hurt. She . . ."

"It isn't enough Nate. Parker and Hardison, they needed . . ."

"We all needed . . . Eliot, we all needed it. We needed you. It's okay for you to need us too. I need you."

"Me? But . . ."

"I'm not talking about the hard man act, the muscle and brawn. The only thing I need retrieving is you. Will you come with me? Let's go fetch the cars, then you follow me. We'll go somewhere safe, we'll fix you up properly and we'll see where we go from there."

"With me?" Eliot still looked surprised.

"Yes with you. Come on, let's go," and with that, Nathan led Eliot away from the burnt out wreck of a warehouse.


End file.
